parenting | My Virtual Physician

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) outlines 16 types of personalities. Each personality type has its own set of traits, preferences, and tendencies, which can significantly influence parenting styles. The personality types are based on 4 dichotomies:

Extraversion (E) vs Introversion (I)
Sensing (S) vs Intuition (N)
Thinking (T) vs Feeling (F)
Judging (J) vs Perceiving (P)

From the analytical and precise to the imaginative and holistic, each of the 16 personality types identified by the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) brings its own set of strengths and challenges when it comes to parenting. Let’s explore how an ISTJ parent can navigate the challenges of raising a child with the same type.

Challenges:

Both the ISTJ parent and child value structure, predictability, and routine. Both may find it difficult to address disagreements between which routine to adhere to.
The reserved nature of ISTJs may result in detachment and lack of communication between the ISTJ parent and child.
The detail-oriented nature of ISTJs can cause conflict when both the ISTJ parent and child disagree over which details to focus on.
Since ISTJs prefer to stick to routines, it is relatively harder for an ISTJ child to break out of unhealthy habits they may have developed, or for an ISTJ parent to break out of unhealthy parenting habits they’ve become accustomed to.

Solutions:

Respect the ISTJ child’s preferred habits and routines while ensuring such habits support the child’s well-being.
Show appreciation for the ISTJ child's structured nature and provide opportunities for them to take on responsibilities and make decisions.
Find common ground by focusing on shared values and traditions, such as family rituals or cultural practices.
Maintain clear rules and expectations while helping both yourself and the child to be open to new opportunities. Encourage the ISTJ child to express their individuality and explore their interests within a supportive and nurturing environment.

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Extraversion (E) vs Introversion (I)
Sensing (S) vs Intuition (N)
Thinking (T) vs Feeling (F)
Judging (J) vs Perceiving (P)

Challenges:

ISTJ parents may struggle with the INTJ child's analytical and visionary thinking, which may conflict with their preference for practicality and tradition.
The ISTJ parent's focus on details, down-to-earth nature, and established routines may clash with the INTJ child's big-picture approach, future-oriented nature, and desire for innovation.
ISTJ parents may find it challenging to engage with the INTJ child's preference for long-term planning and abstract ideas, especially if they prefer focusing on the present and addressing concrete, tangible matters.
INTJ children are very independent and thrive off of setting their own agenda to pursue their innovative ideas, which may frustrate the ISTJ parent's established rules and routine expectations.

Solutions:

Foster open communication and mutual respect, respecting the INTJ child's need for independence and intellectual stimulation.
Encourage the INTJ child's critical thinking skills and provide opportunities for them to explore and pursue their interests and ideas.
Find common ground by focusing on shared goals and values for efficiency, strategic planning, and productivity.
Establish clear rules and boundaries while allowing the INTJ child the freedom to question and challenge them within reason. Foster a sense of autonomy and responsibility by respecting their long-term visions and supporting their goals for enhancing the future.

Extraversion (E) vs Introversion (I)
Sensing (S) vs Intuition (N)
Thinking (T) vs Feeling (F)
Judging (J) vs Perceiving (P)

Challenges:

ISTJ parents may struggle with the ISTP child's need for independence and autonomy, which may conflict with their preference for structure and guidance.
The ISTJ parent's focus on planning and organization may clash with the ISTP child's reactive and adaptable nature.
ISTJ parents may find it challenging to engage with the ISTP child's hands-on, experiential learning style, especially if the ISTJ parent prefers traditional educational methods.
ISTP children may resist authority and rules, preferring to explore and experiment on their own terms, which may frustrate the ISTJ parent's sense of control and loyalty to established norms.

Solutions:

Allow the ISTP child freedom to explore and experiment while providing guidance and support when needed.
Encourage the ISTP child's independent thinking and problem-solving skills. Provide opportunities for hands-on learning, exploration, and DIY projects.
Find common ground by focusing on shared interests and activities, and respecting their preferred styles of handling different activities.
Foster open communication and mutual respect, acknowledging the ISTP child's need for independence while emphasizing the importance of rules and boundaries in maintaining order and safety.

Extraversion (E) vs Introversion (I)
Sensing (S) vs Intuition (N)
Thinking (T) vs Feeling (F)
Judging (J) vs Perceiving (P)

Challenges:

ISTJ parents may struggle with the ESTJ child's assertiveness and need for control, which may clash with the parent’s own need for control.
The ISTJ parent's careful, steady, and detail-oriented approach to tasks may conflict with the ESTJ child's desire for efficiency and results.
ISTJ parents may find it challenging to adapt to the ESTJ child's outgoing and sociable nature, especially if they prefer solitude and introspection.
ESTJ children may want to assert authority and establish their own rules, which may frustrate the ISTJ parent's preferred methods of discipline and authority.

Solutions:

Establish clear rules and expectations while allowing the ESTJ child to have a voice and contribute to decision-making within the family.
Encourage the ESTJ child's leadership skills and provide opportunities for them to take on responsibilities and make decisions.
Find common ground by focusing on shared values and goals, such as the importance of honesty, integrity, and hard work.
Teach the ESTJ child to embrace their potential for leadership in healthy ways by fostering open communication and mutual respect, emphasizing the importance of listening to each other's perspectives and finding compromises when conflicts arise.

Extraversion (E) vs Introversion (I)
Sensing (S) vs Intuition (N)
Thinking (T) vs Feeling (F)
Judging (J) vs Perceiving (P)

Challenges:

ISTJ parents are often very structured and routine in both their lifestyle and parenting habits, which may conflict with the ENFP child's need for spontaneity, creative freedom, and flexibility.
The ISTJ parent's practical and logical approach to problem-solving may clash with the ENFP child's preference for creative and imaginative solutions.
ISTJ parents may find it challenging to understand and connect with the ENFP child's emotional intensity and desire for novel experiences and lively interactions.
ENFP children may resist following rules and may seek novelty, unconventional ideas, and improvisation, which may frustrate the ISTJ parent's desire for order, familiarity, and predictability.

Solutions:

Establish clear boundaries and expectations while allowing room for the ENFP child's creativity and spontaneity within those boundaries. Be open to the new ideas your child may bring up for discussion.
Encourage open communication and actively listen to the ENFP child's ideas and emotions, even if they differ from your perspective.
Find a balance between structured activities and unstructured playtime to accommodate both the ISTJ parent's need for routine and the ENFP child's need for exploration.
Foster a supportive and nurturing environment where the ENFP child feels valued and accepted for their creativity, spontaneity, and passion.

Extraversion (E) vs Introversion (I)
Sensing (S) vs Intuition (N)
Thinking (T) vs Feeling (F)
Judging (J) vs Perceiving (P)

From the analytical and precise to the imaginative and holistic, each of the 16 personality types identified by the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) brings its own set of strengths and challenges when it comes to parenting. Let’s explore how an INFP parent can navigate their parenting strengths and weaknesses when raising a child with the same personality type.

INFP Strengths:

Your shared values and emotional depth create a deeply empathetic and understanding bond with your INFP child.

INFP Weaknesses:

Both of you value your personal independence and need for self-expression. If your child’s style of self-expression conflicts with yours, or if there is a clash in personal interests, this can result in emotional tension and unease for both of you. In addition, both of you prefer to avoid conflict, leading to unspoken tensions.

Overcoming Weaknesses:

Open Communication: Encourage discussions about feelings and needs to avoid misunderstandings.
Respect Individuality: Celebrate their unique interests and encourage self-expression.
Create Structure Together: Collaborate on setting routines and boundaries that work for both of you.
Connect over shared values while respecting each other’s differences

Raising Tips:

Artistic Expression: Nurture their creativity through art, music, writing, or other forms of expression.
Emotional Check-ins: Regularly check in on their emotional well-being. INFPs can be deeply affected by the world's events.
Respect Their Choices: Allow them space to explore different paths and support their decisions.
Encourage Social Connections: While introverted, INFPs benefit from meaningful friendships. Encourage social activities they enjoy.

Extraversion (E) vs Introversion (I)
Sensing (S) vs Intuition (N)
Thinking (T) vs Feeling (F)
Judging (J) vs Perceiving (P)

From the analytical and precise to the imaginative and holistic, each of the 16 personality types identified by the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) brings its own set of strengths and challenges when it comes to parenting. Let’s explore how an INFP parent can navigate their parenting strengths and weaknesses when raising an INFJ child.

INFP Strengths:

Your deep empathy and understanding create a compassionate and nurturing environment for your INFJ child to thrive.

INFP Weaknesses:

Balancing the INFJ’s need for structure and planning might be challenging. Their decisiveness can sometimes clash with your desire to explore all options. In addition, their willingness to maintain social harmony may conflict with your values for personal authenticity.

Overcoming Weaknesses:

Support Their Vision: Help them translate their big ideas into actionable plans.
Value Their Social Insight: Acknowledge their intuitive understanding of people and situations.
Respect their routines while helping them practice flexibility.

Raising Tips:

Encourage Reflection: INFJs benefit from quiet introspection. Provide space for their thoughts.
Engage in meaningful conversations about ethics, values, and the world– INFJs thrive when they can influence social harmony.
Respect Their Privacy: INFJs value their inner worlds; respect their need for solitude.

Extraversion (E) vs Introversion (I)
Sensing (S) vs Intuition (N)
Thinking (T) vs Feeling (F)
Judging (J) vs Perceiving (P)

From the analytical and precise to the imaginative and holistic, each of the 16 personality types identified by the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) brings its own set of strengths and challenges when it comes to parenting. Let’s explore how an INFP parent can navigate their parenting strengths and weaknesses when raising an ENFP child.

INFP Strengths:

Your shared enthusiasm for creativity and exploration creates a vibrant and imaginative home for your ENFP child.

INFP Weaknesses:

Balancing the ENFP’s energetic, outgoing nature with quiet moments might be challenging. Their constant need for novelty and exploration can sometimes clash with your desire for stability and reflection.

Overcoming Weaknesses:

Establish Routines: Provide a stable foundation while allowing room for spontaneity.
Support Their Ideas: Encourage their creativity and brainstorming, even if it seems unconventional.
Value Their Energy: Embrace their enthusiasm and energy, even when it differs from your own.

Raising Tips:

Open Communication: Foster an environment where they feel heard and valued.
Appreciate and encourage their willingness to try new activities and hobbies.
Emotional Check-ins: ENFPs can be sensitive; provide reassurance and support.
Show appreciation for their tendency to seek change, while helping them adhere to what matters.

Extraversion (E) vs Introversion (I)
Sensing (S) vs Intuition (N)
Thinking (T) vs Feeling (F)
Judging (J) vs Perceiving (P)

From the analytical and precise to the imaginative and holistic, each of the 16 personality types identified by the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) brings its own set of strengths and challenges when it comes to parenting. Let’s explore how an INFP parent can navigate their parenting strengths and weaknesses when raising an ISFP child.

INFP Strengths:

You and your ISFP child both share the cognitive strength of “introvert feeling.” This means you both can connect over shared personal likes and dislikes, and share the same value for empathy and self-expression.

INFP Weaknesses:

While you and your ISFP child can relate to your values for self-expression and shared interests, having different personal interests can result in clashes. Both of you are very devoted to what you value, so having differences in values can cause major conflict. In addition, their practicality can sometimes clash with your idealistic views.

Overcoming Weaknesses:

Respect Their Independence: Allow them space to explore their interests and express their creativity.
Appreciate how they channel their creativity into practical projects and goals.
Appreciate Differences: Embrace their love for hands-on experiences and learning through doing.

Raising Tips:

Artistic Outlets: Encourage their artistic pursuits, whether through painting, music, or other creative outlets.
Nature Exploration: ISFPs often connect with nature. Plan outdoor activities and nature walks.
Celebrate Individuality: Emphasize the importance of being true to oneself, as both your personality types place extra value on this.
Emotional Support: Offer a listening ear for their feelings and experiences.

Extraversion (E) vs Introversion (I)
Sensing (S) vs Intuition (N)
Thinking (T) vs Feeling (F)
Judging (J) vs Perceiving (P)

From the analytical and precise to the imaginative and holistic, each of the 16 personality types identified by the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) brings its own set of strengths and challenges when it comes to parenting. Let’s explore how an INFP parent can navigate their parenting strengths and weaknesses when raising an ESTJ child.

INFP Strengths:

As an INFP parent, your awareness of your own emotional world, combined with your empathy and creativity, are your superpowers. You are devoted to creating a warm and nurturing environment where your child can explore their interests.

INFP Weaknesses:

You might find it challenging to meet the ESTJ child's need for structure, organization, and decisiveness. Their practicality can clash with your idealism. You may also find it difficult to deal with the ESTJ child’s tendency to boss other children around, or act like they are the boss of you.

Overcoming Weaknesses:

Be firm without sacrificing your gentleness

Establish routines while allowing room for their independence

Appreciate Their Strengths: Celebrate their leadership and organizational skills.

Raising Tips:

Acknowledge Achievements: ESTJs thrive on recognition. Praise their accomplishments.

Encourage Leadership Roles: Support their desire for leadership positions in school or extracurricular activities.

Teach Empathy: Help them understand and appreciate different perspectives.

Lead by Example: Show them the value of kindness and emotional intelligence.

Parenting is perhaps one of the most challenging yet rewarding journeys in life. From the moment a child is born, parents are entrusted with the responsibility of nurturing and guiding them into adulthood. However, amidst the countless parenting advice and societal expectations, many parents often find themselves overwhelmed and unsure of the best approach.

And with the countless parenting styles you may be seeing in other parents, it’s easy to become confused about which styles are actually best for your child’s well-being– especially when it comes to the child’s cognitive and behavioral well-being.

Here are five common mistakes parents tend to make when teaching good behavior to their children:

Using Punishment Instead of Discipline:

Many parents resort to punishment, such as yelling, shaming, spanking, or criticizing, as their go-to method for correcting misbehavior. However, punishment only trains your child to obey out of fear– which will have damaging effects on their long-term mental and behavioral health. If you are threatening to bring negativity to a child’s life if they fail to be on their best behavior, the child will only be motivated to put on good behavior to avoid negative consequences, and not because they personally care about good behavior.

Furthermore, if your children are obeying you just to avoid negative backlash from you, they will perceive you as barriers to their freedom rather than wise leaders in their lives. The moment they grow up and are no longer restricted by your rules, they may become rebellious or resentful with you.

This is why it’s important to use discipline, rather than punishment. While punishment instills fear-driven behavior, discipline instills authentically-driven behavior. Discipline involves cultivating an orderly but nurturing environment, providing explanations for rules. Rather than reacting to problematic behavior with threats or backlash, disciplining involves gently teaching the child why they shouldn’t engage in the misbehavior, using patience and encouragement toward alternative behaviors. The result is that children develop a personal motivation for good behavior. Instead of obeying and behaving to avoid negative consequences, they will develop an authentic willingness to adopt better behavior on their own, learning from their mistakes and setting their own goals to make better choices in the future.

2. Ignoring Positive Behavior and Overemphasizing Negatives:

It's natural for parents to address misbehavior promptly, but it's equally important to acknowledge and reinforce positive behavior. Unfortunately, many parents may inadvertently overlook or take for granted instances of good behavior while focusing disproportionately on negative behaviors.
This imbalance can lead children to become fearful about negative behavior, which can lead to resentfulness or rebellion as explained above.
However, overemphasis on negative behavior may also lead the child to seek attention through negative actions. To address this, parents should actively praise and reinforce positive behaviors as they occur, thereby encouraging their repetition and strengthening the child's self-esteem.

3. Reacting Emotionally Instead of Responding Calmly:

Parental emotions play a significant role in shaping children's behavior and emotional development. Parents who struggle with managing their own emotions may unintentionally model unhealthy coping mechanisms or overreact to minor incidents, contributing to a negative family dynamic. When a child misbehaves or fails to fulfill parental expectations, reacting impulsively or emotionally can escalate conflicts and hinder effective communication. Parents who struggle to regulate their own emotions will easily resort to punishment, which further hinders effective communication about good behavior.
Instead, parents should strive to respond to misbehavior calmly and thoughtfully, focusing on disciplining through problem-solving and teaching alternatives. Positive reinforcement of alternative behaviors will help a child regulate their emotions and choose to behave on their own.
For parents of older children or teens: if there are conflicts between a parent’s expectations and a child’s desires, do not give the child an “I am your parent, I know what’s best for you” response. Instead, allow the child to voice their perspectives and explain why they desire something that goes against your expectations. The goal is not to force the child into obedience– the goal is to allow the child to develop the cognitive abilities to make good choices on their own, in addition to the cognitive abilities to regulate their own emotions and desires.
Be open and honest with yourself about how well you can regulate your own emotions, so that you can be prepared to respond gently and wisely when helping your child regulate their own emotions and behavior.

4. Neglecting to Teach Empathy and Perspective-Taking:

Empathy is a crucial skill for navigating social interactions and forming meaningful relationships. Unfortunately, some parents may overlook the importance of teaching empathy and perspective-taking, focusing solely on obedience and compliance. And oftentimes, parents make this mistake because they, themselves, struggle with empathy and perspective-taking.
Be mindful of where you may stand when it comes to empathy and open-mindedness. Learn how to cultivate empathy with the people in your life, then teach your child to develop this important skill through modeling, discussions, and perspective-taking exercises. Parents should actively teach children to consider others' feelings and perspectives, fostering compassion, understanding, and respect for others.

5. Dismissing the Value of the Child’s Individuality:

One of the fundamental principles of healthy parenting is recognizing and celebrating the uniqueness of each child. Every child is born with their own set of talents, interests, and personality traits.
However, as mentioned earlier, there may be moments when your child may desire making a decision that may not align with your expectations. If there is a conflict between what you want from your child and what your child actually desires, do not dismiss the child’s desires and claim that they should listen to you just because you are the parent. As the parent, you are there to guide the child to make good decisions, not command the child to be blind followers of rules. Therefore, when a child wants to pursue something that you are not in favor of, allow the child to voice their perspectives and explain how they decided they wanted to make their decision. To reiterate and emphasize: the goal is not to force the child into obedience– the goal is to allow the child to develop the cognitive abilities to make good choices on their own.
By allowing the child to voice their opinions and guiding them to explain their thought process, they will be engaging in mindful reflection and healthy communication about their desires, enhancing their cognitive and behavioral development and growing in their capacity to make good decisions.
And as parents, it's crucial to foster an environment where children feel free to express themselves authentically without fear of judgment or criticism. Encourage their interests, whether they align with your own passions or not, and provide opportunities for them to explore and develop their talents.

Healthy parenting goes beyond providing for a child's physical needs; it encompasses nurturing their emotional, social, and intellectual development in a supportive and nurturing environment.

And teaching good behavior involves more than just enforcing rules and consequences; it requires positive reinforcement, effective discipline, practicing emotional regulation, and cultivating an environment that supports a child’s freedom to make good decisions on their own. By avoiding these common mistakes and adopting a proactive and compassionate approach to parenting, parents can foster a nurturing environment where children learn, grow, and thrive.

My Virtual Physician is now offering pediatric behavioral health services. If you are concerned about your child's mental health needs, please book appointment with our pediatric cognitive-behavioral coach, Dr. Dalson: BOOK HERE

As parents, nurturing your children's cognitive-behavioral development is a priority. However, being proactive requires having a proper framework of understanding for how cognition works.

According to Jungian psychology and evidence-based research on cognition and personality, we can understand our cognition through 8 categories of “cognitive functions.” This article will focus on 4 of the 8.

Let's explore how parents can support their children in developing the healthy versions of these 4 functions while mitigating the risks associated with their unhealthy manifestations:

Introverted Sensing (Si)

Definition: specific, concrete perception of inner world

Healthy Si: attention to detail, strong memory recall, and a sense of tradition and nostalgia.

Unhealthy Si: becoming overly resistant to change or fixated on past experiences.

Parents can nurture healthy Si by providing a stable and predictable environment, encouraging routines and rituals, and fostering an appreciation for history and tradition.

Guard against unhealthy Si by helping your child honor and uphold lessons from the past while still being open to new experiences, adaptability, and flexibility.

Extroverted Sensing (Se)

Definition: specific, concrete perception of outer world

Healthy Se: being present-focused, adventurous, and attuned to sensory experiences.

Unhealthy Se: sensory indulgence, hyperactivity, impulsivity, reckless behavior.

Parents can support the healthy version of Se by encouraging outdoor activities, sports, and creative endeavors that engage the senses.

Guard against unhealthy Se by teaching your child to balance spontaneity with consideration for consequences, patience, and self-discipline.

Introverted Intuition (Ni)

Definition: Broad, plethoric perception of inner world

Healthy Ni: insight, foresight, philosophizing, visionary imagination for meaningful, innovative ideas.

Unhealthy Ni: detachment from reality, neglect of present responsibilities, extreme frustration with unexpected outcomes

Parents can foster healthy Ni by encouraging imaginative play, exploring metaphors and symbolism, and providing opportunities for reflection, theorizing, philosophizing, and future planning.

Guard against unhealthy Ni by helping your child balance their focus on their future goals with activities they can enjoy at the present time. Guide them to seek evidence and diverse perspectives before drawing theoretical conclusions.

Extroverted Intuition (Ne)

Definition: Broad, plethoric perception of outer world

Healthy Ne: spontaneity, diversity, innovation, and adaptability.

Unhealthy Ne: scattered thinking, indecisiveness, disrespect for tradition, inability to adhere to routines

Parents can support healthy Ne by encouraging curiosity, brainstorming activities, and exposure to diverse ideas and perspectives.

Guard against unhealthy Ne by helping your child think outside the box and try new things, without neglecting organization.

Storytelling has long been recognized as a powerful tool for nurturing children's cognitive and behavioral development. And in the realm of children's literature, stories featuring talking animals hold a special place, captivating young minds with their whimsical tales and valuable life lessons. However, the benefits of these stories extend beyond mere entertainment; they can significantly impact the cognitive-behavioral well-being of both children and parents alike.

Let’s explore how reading stories about talking animals can be beneficial for the cognitive-behavioral well-being of both children and parents.

Benefits for Children:

Perspective-Taking: Through stories about talking animals, children are transported into imaginative worlds where animals possess human-like characteristics and emotions. Yet at the same time, the characters retain their animal identities, which means the characters will have experiences and lifestyles that differ from humans. By reading about such characters, children are prompted to adopt different perspectives, allowing them to empathize with the experiences and challenges faced by those who are different from them. By understanding the world through the eyes of talking animals, children develop empathy and a deeper appreciation for the diversity of perspectives.
Imagination: The fantastical world of talking animals stimulates children's imaginations, transporting them to magical realms where anything is possible. Talking animal stories often feature characters from various species with distinct traits, abilities, and backgrounds. As children engage with these stories, they learn to recognize and appreciate differences among individuals, fostering inspiration for how these differences can offer value for the world. Exposure to such fictional characters will prompt children to explore endless possibilities, fueling their creativity and expanding their imaginative capacities for how they can improve or support different areas in the world.
Moral Inspiration and Motivation: Many stories about talking animals convey important moral lessons and values through the adventures of their characters. By witnessing animals displaying qualities such as bravery, kindness, and resilience, children are inspired to emulate these virtues in their own lives, fostering moral development and motivation for positive behavior. And the motivation for positive behavior is stronger than when reading stories about humans displaying the same qualities– since it is expected that fictional humans will act humanely with such qualities, children are much more excited when fictional animals adopt the same qualities as well. Consequently, reading about animals in fiction will more strongly inspire children to think critically and develop a sense of responsibility and integrity in their own decision-making.

Benefits for Parents:

Perspective-Taking: While children engage in perspective-taking through the lens of talking animal characters, parents benefit from a different perspective shift. By immersing themselves in these stories alongside their children, parents gain insights into their children's thought processes and emotional experiences. This enhances their ability to empathize with their children's perspectives and strengthens the parent-child bond. Additionally, independently reading stories about animals can prompt adults to be more mindful about different perspectives and experiences other adults in their lives may have, such as colleagues, neighbors, or acquaintances. By becoming more mindful of other people’s perspectives, adults can be better prepared to help teach children how to understand and respect others’ differences.
Imagination: Reading stories about talking animals alongside their children allows parents to reconnect with their own sense of imagination and wonder. Through the shared experience of exploring fantastical worlds and characters, parents can rediscover the joy of storytelling and ignite their own creative sparks. And since adults obviously have more life experience than a child, they can learn how to weigh reality and imagination, guiding their children to use their imaginations to handle what is realistically probable in addition to what is creatively possible.
Moral Inspiration and Motivation: The moral themes embedded in stories about talking animals provide parents with valuable opportunities to engage in discussions about ethics and values with their children. As parents guide their children through these conversations, they are reminded of the importance of modeling positive behavior and instilling moral principles in their children. As adults, it is easy to mistakenly believe that because we are older, we already know what’s good for us and what moral decisions we should be making. It’s even easier to mistakenly believe that morality is subjective and that anyone who is old enough can decide what is right and wrong in their own eyes, and that we are in no need of further teaching on moral lessons. However, since no human is perfect, there will always be endless opportunities for each human to self-grow and become better versions of themselves. By reflecting on stories where non-human characters make moral decisions that humans are aware of, adults can stay mindful that even simple moral lessons hold great weight and should not be taken for granted. Such stories also prompt us to reflect more deeply on certain moral lessons, and just the state of imagining a cute or ferocious animal making good, moral decisions like a human can help us better appreciate the value that such moral lessons can have in our lives.

There are many cognitive-behavioral benefits for children and parents when it comes to reading and reflecting on animal stories. While children develop empathy and critical thinking skills, parents gain insights into their children's perspectives while enhancing their own understanding of diversity and ethical decision-making. Additionally, the shared experience of reading stories about talking animals strengthens the parent-child relationship and fosters a positive environment for mutual growth and learning. As families embark on these literary adventures, they not only cultivate empathy and understanding but also foster a sense of connection and shared values that transcend the pages of a storybook.

As parents, nurturing your children's cognitive-behavioral development is a priority. However, being proactive requires having a proper framework of understanding for how cognition works.

According to Jungian psychology and evidence-based theories about cognition and personality (link to Harry’s book), we can understand our cognition through 8 categories of “cognitive functions.” In the previous article, we discussed 4 of the 8 functions. Here, we will focus on the remaining 4.

Let's explore how parents can support their children in developing the healthy versions of these 4 cognitive functions while mitigating the risks associated with their unhealthy manifestations:

Introverted Thinking (Ti)

Definition: judging internal logical order.

Healthy Ti: logical reasoning, problem-solving skills, and a penchant for critical analysis.

Unhealthy Ti: overthinking everything, becoming overly detached or dismissive of emotions, overestimating personal intelligence

Healthy Ti involves logical reasoning, problem-solving skills, and a penchant for critical analysis. Parents can foster this by encouraging their children to ask questions, explore ideas independently, and engage in activities that stimulate their analytical thinking, such as puzzles and logic games. However, it's crucial to prevent Ti from becoming overly detached or dismissive of emotions. Encourage open communication and validate your child's feelings to prevent them from retreating into intellectualization as a coping mechanism.

Extroverted Thinking (Te)

Definition: judging outer logical order.

Healthy version: organization, efficiency, and effective decision-making.

Unhealthy version: bossy, gives unsolicited advice, overworks oneself

Te in its healthy form is characterized by organization, efficiency, and effective decision-making. Parents can support this by providing structure and routines, encouraging responsibility, and involving children in planning and problem-solving activities. However, beware of fostering an overly rigid or authoritarian mindset. Encourage flexibility, creativity, and empathy to ensure that Te is balanced with consideration for others' perspectives and feelings.

Introverted Feeling (Fi)

Definition: judging internal emotional order.

Healthy version: authentic, self-expressive, passionate about their values

Unhealthy version: overly sensitive, emotionally volatile or pessimistic, unrealistically idealistic

Healthy Fi involves a strong sense of values, authenticity, and empathy. Parents can nurture this by encouraging their children to explore and express their emotions, validating their feelings, and teaching them to stand up for their beliefs. However, be mindful of the tendency for Fi to become overly self-absorbed or judgmental. Encourage your child to consider others' perspectives, practice active listening, and cultivate compassion and understanding towards others.

Extroverted Feeling (Fe)

Definition: judging external emotional order.

Healthy version: harmonizing, charismatic, great at emotionally interacting with others

Unhealthy version: emotionally manipulative, desperate for social approval, overly dependent on relationships with others

Fe in its healthy expression involves empathy, diplomacy, and harmonious interpersonal relationships. Parents can support this by teaching their children to be considerate of others' feelings, fostering cooperation and teamwork, and modeling positive social behaviors. However, be cautious of Fe becoming excessively people-pleasing or sacrificing one's own needs for the sake of harmony. Encourage assertiveness, boundary-setting, and self-care to ensure that your child's emotional well-being is prioritized alongside their relationships with others.

In conclusion, being proactive with your child's cognitive development involves understanding and nurturing each of the eight Jungian cognitive functions in their healthy forms while mitigating the risks associated with their unhealthy manifestations. By providing a supportive and enriching environment that balances structure with flexibility, empathy with critical thinking, and curiosity with discipline, parents can empower their children to navigate the complexities of the world with confidence, resilience, and creativity.